dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

On the immunity to love and Colin Winch.

As I look back at the past, I can see a recurring pattern in the misery Elly has made of her married life that isn't her being a raw nerve who's too damned passive-aggressive to say what's really bothering her or being an adult child whose kneejerk reaction to perceived slights is to never let them go because forgiveness is a bad thing. What made her life worse is that she was looking for a meal ticket, not someone whose company she could tolerate for very long. This is because she adopted a policy of cynicism because she was afraid the world would hurt her and it blew up in her face by forcing her to spend her life with an oaf that she thinks is her friend because the alternative is admitting to having wasted her life.

The reason that I mention this is that even when she was a kid, it looks to me as if her interest in Colin was that he had a steady source of income. I know it sounds absurd and cruel to write her off as a mercenary creep at fifteen but teenagers think a lot of stupid, crazy things. She might think that he's showing initiative and will get somewhere like another unprepossessing figure who wasn't the track star or the lead in the school play: Anthony. Elly would go on to look at the shlumpy, maudlin and passive no-hoper and see a world-beater Liz would be a fool not to marry.
Tags: elly versus herself
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