dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Meet The Scapegoat

As I've said before, most of Elly's attitudes and opinions congealed into place when she was about five or six or so. This is why she thinks love is stupid. It's why she thinks that life is run by a rigid set of rules for everyone else but her. It's also why she thinks that the worst thing in the world is to end up looking like her mother. Were we to look back to the mid-fifties and look at Marian face to face, we'd see a reasonably attractive woman in her thirties. What we lose sight of is, as Orwell observed, that children have an exaggerated idea of how ugly older people are because they see their face at an awkward angle and have unreasonable standards of physical beauty. This tells me that instead of being reassured that there's a sort of continuity in human affairs, Elly sees looking like her mother as a curse that will be sweet when it's inflicted on the daughters who stole her youth.

The other thing that's wrong with Marian is that she doesn't realize that Elly should be exempt from having praise withheld from her. Elly can never let her children know when they've pleased her because she thinks that if she ever does, they'll think "Mom loves me....so it's time to sit down and die in a puddle of my own filth because I clearly never have to do anything again!!" but her mother is mean and cruel and wants to crush her because she does the same thing for the same reason. The reason that I mention this is that a cursory examination of why potential mates are unsuitable has a lot to do with the fact that the Pattersons look down on people without degrees. Paul, Warren, Rhetta and Martha clearly never got university degrees and so are 'worse' parents than Deanna and Anthony. I should think that when Marian was saying that she regrets the fact that Elly left school, she was trying to warn Elly that John thinks less of her because she doesn't have any degree that ain't MRS. Where things fall apart is that Elly wants to pretend she didn't and also wants to pretend that she's lying. Elly wants to pretend that her mother is making her choose between the family she thinks she deserves and the degree that she only thinks would stand in the way. Since I do the really stupid thing called 'remembering how John acts', I should think that Marian is right.
Tags: #39;s like marian, elly versus admitting she&

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