dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Elly Patterson: Wedding Planner

I'd like to take a bit of a break from contemplating long-term trouble to thinking about a shorter-term and more comedic disaster: the low-key mess Elly is about to make of the Settlenuptuals. Elly's reasoning would be that since it's Anthony's second wedding, they needn't shoot the works. Never mind that it's probably going to be Elizabeth's only wedding and, despite what she might say, she'd want to go all out. I'd say the Patterclan would steamroll her into having a wedding as non-descript as her proposal. That means that the venue wil be the Pattermanse. We'd end up with a guest list of, like, thirty people at most. Also, we'd get to see a fist fight between Françoise and Meredith over who got to be flower girl with Jon Benet bullying her way to victory because Elly would yap about how Anthony's daughter, What's-her-name isn't really family. We can also expect to see April, having been strongarmed into not going to the farm like she'd planned, trying to pull the rings out of EatDirt's nose. Elly would probably make the wedding cake herself which would mean it would be dripping with grease. Add in Liz wearing the Miracle Dress of Grandma Marian in all its questionable glory, the groom and ushers in powder-blue tuxs with ruffled shirts and the bridesmaids in ultra-ugly seafoam green dresses and you have the recipe for the Kitsch Monstrosity Wedding of 2008.
Tags: settlenuptuals, the shape of foobs to come

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