dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

On never realizing one's importance.

What makes Elly do all of the strange and questionable things that she does is that she has the universal need to be seen as important. She sees her life as not being worth living at all because it's only on the rarest of occasions that people realize that she sees herself as being taken for granted and throw a half-hearted compliment her way. She let herself get taken for a ride by a phony because the fraudster stealing from her flattered her so shamelessly, a not desperate person's alarm bells would have been ringing long ago. She ignores her children's lives because she thinks that worrying about trivial things like who threw the first punch and why makes her trivial. On her deathbed, she'll probably lament the fact that her life didn't mean much because of the lack of the public recognition she'd been starved of because Marian thought that the least bit of praise tossed her way would lead her to be a complacent lump contentedly dying in a pool of her own filth because "mommy loves me so I don't need to do nothing no more."

What she misses out on is that even though she doesn't see it, she's a prominent figure in her family's lives. As by way of example, her husband and children walk on eggshells around her because they fear her hair-trigger temper. Her lack of interest in how her children get along and tendency to fail to pick her battles have left Mike and Liz unable to cope with the adult world and has driven April away from her home. Her need to flee from public spaces in which she's been made to look foolish give her children license to cut and run when things get tough. Without her, the world would be a different and happier place so she is important after all.

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