dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

The High-speed Settlepocalypse.

howtheduck has gone on record as saying he hopes that Lynn can make the Settlepocalypse as ridiculous and tawdry as possible. We know that her "romantic" dialogue is ludicrously wooden tosh spoken by people with loathesome motives and ignoble hopes and dreams so the tawdry part is covered. We also know that Lynn never met a Deus ex machina she didn't like and has vulgar, juvenile tastes so the wedding itself will be an atrocity as well as an occasion for derisive commentary. What will really fulfill our low expectations for the future is the ridiculous pacing. It's not like we're in for a repeat of the glory days where the Pattersons helped Deanna cynically manipulative her sitting-duck antagonist mother into setting her and Mike up in housekeepingkeep her evil battleaxe mother from ruining a repulsive sham weddingmagical celebration of her and Mike's love. Back then, we had eight months of the incessant vilification of a cardboard monster. Now, we'll be lucky if we have eight days in which the Pattersons can vent their ill-informed rage on the hapless persons of Therese and Warren. After John gets done whining about having to work for a living, Lynn will doubtless find some other way to stall but we can see pretty much where she's going.
Tags: settlenuptuals

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