dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

The Settlepocalypse and the Patterson's image......

As we all know, a wedding is pretty much a reflection on the tastes of the bride's family. This explains why Mira and Shawna-Marie's mother were so gung-ho about things being a certain way; their reputations were on the line. Since the weddings were reasonably classy except where a Patterson did something gauche, their credibility has been preserved. What does the Settlepocalypse say about Elly and John, though? Let's review some elements that we've seen:

- The ultra-ugly lavender and teal color scheme that was chosen in the first place. Everywhere you look at the wedding venue, you've got lavender, teal or both assaulting your eyes.

- The father of the bride and groomsmen in lavender-gray tuxes with teal bow ties and cummerbunds at a daytime outdoor wedding.

- The mother of the bride in a light teal dress more suitable for attending a high school graduation.

- The flower girls in awful looking lavender-and-teal dresses.

- The bridesmaids in a pastiche of styles that have only the teal-and-lavender theme in common.

- The wedding party being driven around in six limousines.

- A wedding cake with teal and lavender frosting.

- The oppressively-tacky sounding decorations that the Settlepocalypse coven threatened.


- The idiotic look of satisfaction on everyone's eyes when the horror had concluded.

The only conclusion that anyone can come to after this is that the Pattersons are a bunch of crude, low-to-no-class people who have no idea in their fat heads about what's appropriate. The people who didn't point at them and laugh behind their backs after seeing John in his engineer's costume or Elly flapping and honking are gonna do it after this.
Tags: one big oblivious family, settlenuptuals

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