March 4th, 2007

Snarky Candiru2

Elly Patterson: Animal Lover[tm]

You can't live in this world for very long without being confronted by a sad fact of life: the presence of people who think they like animals. What do I mean by that, you ask? Let me give you an example: let's say a family down the block has a big dog they leave outside on a leash all day long while they're out and about barking wildly at passers-by because it's slowly going crazy. THOSE people think they're animal lovers when the fact that they wilfully ignore the animal's instinctive need to roam and physical safety because it's inconvenient strongly indicate otherwise. When you value your possessions over a living creature, you can't really say you LOVE animals, can you? Nor can you say you love them if you refuse to acknowledge them for what they are; relative docile versions of wild animals whose behavior human beings co-opted to serve some economic need. Given the alarming human trend to see human-like behavior where it doesn't and CAN'T exist, dim-witted people like Elly are engaged in setting themselves up for a litany of disappointment. You always see her bellowing at the dogs or Elizabeth's cat for making a mess of XanaFoob because she thinks they did it on purpose, the last two words only being applicable in the case of a certain two-legged and featherless animal. Since she and most of the rest of her family don't see the pets for what they REALLY are, they can't be said to have too high respect for them, can they?