March 14th, 2007

Calm Candiru

The Empty Chair: Elizabeth Patterson as teacher.

It occurs to me that, given what we know and have seen about her and what other, keener observers have already pointed out, Elizabeth is probably a catastrophic failure in her chosen profession as teacher. The major cause is that she doesn't have the sense or decency to actually teach anything. Whenever we see this naive and somewhat fanatical worshipper of the go-go-gadget-gospel, she's letting a chunk of hardware do her job for her. Now, she has yet to ask whose calculator can solve a math problem the quickest but since she thinks teaching is all about the props, it's only a matter of time. She seems to be an extreme example of the odd philosophy that teaching children is similar to downloading a file onto a hard-drive; it would never in a million years occur to her that a GOOD teacher could reach her charges by drawing her lessons on bare earth with a sharp stick. She also seems to have distinct trouble keeping her charges in order, doesn't she? When whatever idiocy in her private life isn't make her act like a dullminded Drill Sergeant McNasty, she more or less lets her students run roughshod over her. That, of course, leads me to the most important cause of her failure; her lack of any REAL emotional commitment to her students. We all remember how she promised the good people of Mtigwaki that she'd be a part of their lives, right? Then she up and changed her mind for a rather sordid and silly reason; the only thing that softens the blow is that Susan Dokis showed up to clean up the dog's breakfast her idiocy left behind. I'd be willing to bet they think she saved their children from the twisted ravings of a pious, cowardly fraud. Anyone as bad at what she does as Elizabeth has no business teaching class and should be moved into a more suitable position in the eductaional hierarchy; the only thing that bugs me is that April will be yelled at for not praising Liz's promtion to vice-principal.