March 20th, 2007

Snarky Candiru2

Let's you and him fight: The Patterson Plan for Conflict Resolution.

O-kaaaaaaaaaay. I got a little silly there yesterday, started believing Blance-Dubois-of-Milborough's press releases. My fault. I mean, when you listen to that much bullshit, you risk buying into it. I'll try to do better. She's WELL aware of the number of men she's got on the string (and WHY men crawl outta the woodwork in the first place) 'cause that's the only thing that can explain the dirt-eating smirk she has on her face every time she contemplates one of her gentleman callers. She DOES, however, miss out on how THEY feel about her 'cause it doesn't seem to matter to her, does it? Since she's easily as self-absorbed as her arch-enemy big brother, the ONLY thing that she seems to care about is how SHE feels at the time. As an example, Paul became a 'fantasy' because he dared to ask for a little give to go along with all her take. Since she doesn't have in her to REALLY commit to a relationship, she makes conflicting false promises to pathetic dullards. This leads to the most gratifying part of her love life: a pointless battle by two worthless jerks over a vapid tramp! If she has a bunch of jerks competing over her dubious affections, she's pretty much got'em under control, don't she? She seems to have picked up this divide and conquer tactic from her loving Mama. You can't read thorugh the early strips without gaining the distinct impression that Elly was deliberately pitting them against one another. Since she never sat Michael down and kindly told him to cut the shit and leave Liz the fuck alone, it seems to me she was tacitly egging him on! Not only that, she seemed actively unsympathetic to Liz's anguish. Her standard response to her daughter's justifiable unhappiness was usually a variation on the theme 'Suck-it-up-Baby-he-doesn't-mean-it-so-shut-up-stand-there-and-TAKE-it'. Why did Elly find it gratifying to have such poisonous rivalry under her roof? Simple! That way she could keep them from comparing notes and slipping off the leash. If you're a narrow-minded fascist dipshit like her, you're living in constant fear of people joining forces to take you down! Getting them so angry at each other that they wouldn't consider that option is just good, common-sense parenting.