April 27th, 2007

Snarky Candiru2

Foobcaust Three: Custody Redux.

The results of the court battle I posited as a consequence of my little exrecise in alternate Foobery should be obvious. Neither set of grandparents would be granted custody of Meredith. She would instead be placed with Deanna's older sister, Andrea, likely at the Sobinski's insistence. Now, the key factor in any custody hearing is what is in the best long term interest of the child. For a multitude of reasons, the Patterson family fall nicely in the 'unhealthy for children and other living things category' so no judge in good conscience would allow them anything other than strictly supervised visitation rights. Given the toxic family dynamic, s/he might order them to attend group therapy so they can learn to communicate like normal human beings. Speaking of which, Wilfred and Mira would be disqualified as well. The reason is, of course, their self-loathing daughter was a willing participant in Mike's defamation campaign against them. Since Merrie probably thinks the Boogeyman is Grandma Mira's bestest best friend, placing her there would be problematic with a capital 'P'. Andrea seems to me an ideal foster parent in that Mommy Doormat didn't try to describe her as Godzilla in nylons, she's in a stable marriage, has a son two years older than Merrie and (best of all) she's not a Patterson.