April 29th, 2007

Snarky Candiru2

Foobocaust Four: Spotlight on Elizabeth

It occurs to me that the sudden decedence of Michael would have probably hit two people the hardest: Elly and Liz. I'tt talk about Mom in a later post, but today I'll talk about the one more likely to do something crazy. As you have not doubt see, Elizabeth believes she's a whole bunch of things she isn't. She sits around like a lump whining about her problems like that'll make them go away and calls herself a get-it-done kind of girl. She also speaks terrible English and holds herself up as the Goddess of Grammar. She makes zero effort to maintain relationships, lets them wither and die, heaps abuse and slander on the other guy and congratulates herself on being friends with them. Her lack of self-awarenes stems from defining herself as who she isn't. You see, growing up she was the target of a whole bunch of nastiness from a smarmy, sullen, hateful little puke who thought the sun shone out of his arse and wanted her to scram so he could get all the love, like he was supposed to. This pile of malevolence learned to hide his basically negative nature under a thin veneer of politeness but remained essentially the same asswipe. She spent so much of her time in Jackoff's shadow bending herself into a pretzel just to prove to him she actually deserved to exist his sudden disappearance would destroy her whole purpose in life. She might even go so far as to actually say something along those lines. That would, of course, be interpreted as mourning by those around her. Since she and her Mom have such a tenuous grasp on reality to start with, something that upsetting would be something she can't cope with like normal people. She might do something inappropriate just to vent. If you thought her reaction to Paul and Susan was bad in the real strip, the alternate Liz would do no doubt something indictable.