May 26th, 2007

Angry Candiru

April and the Lord Almighty: More Jumping Conclusions......

April has recently betrayed an ignorance of the divine that rivals the very Marianas Trench in depth. She honestly believed that praying that the foregone conclusion of the Housening might somehow be stopped and, hey presto, a tree lands right on top of Pattermanse 2.0. Her conclusion: her prayer made it happen. Now, you and I both know that the Tree of Mild Inconvenience most likely died the previous winter and fell down of its own accord. That sort of thing is referred to as an act of God; a phrase which is just gonna ADD more fuel to the furnace of confusion that's consuming April's sanity. Eva's attempts to bring her friend into the reality-based world are gonna boomerang and send the kid deeper into the Land of Pointless Hysteria and Witless Superstition. Why, you ask? In her muddled thinking, Eva just confirmed that God has nothing better to do with his time to screw over her family, that's why! I blame her parents for this; not only have they not given her much of a religious background, what they have given her is both baffling and incorrect. Not only do they not tell her what she needs to know about how prayer works, they indulge her appetite for horror films. The so-called religious imagery in those would work gangbusters if you want someone to develop a warped sense of how prayer works. The combination of Hollywood's feeblewitted attempts at blasphemy and her parent's windy blovations about religion has produced a young woman who'll go the her grave CONVINCED that hexes and curses are real.