Reading the more recent material, I made the mistake of thinking that Mike never babysat or was at the very least an unenthusiatic minder of children. Upon receving information that that was not the case, I looked through the collections and something lept from the page: Mike was a fairly good babysitter. You'd've thought from that that when he was married, he'd be a darker-haired John in the fullness of time: a clunky, ham-fisted, sorta out-of-it but reasonably attentive parent. Instead, we get this moaning asshat who can scarce tell which child is which because he's somehow above the petty concerns of child-rearing and reacts to his childrens' desire for attention with disgust and horror. You'd almost think that Deanna took the wrong Mike Patterson home from their honeymoon or something and the real one is out there somewhere with non-potato nosed Elly and non-lips of loveliness April getting postcards from non-sniffing-after-stalkers Liz about her life up North as they complain about the antics of their inferior replacements.