August 10th, 2007

Snarky Candiru2

Cheating: the worst thing in the world.

There's one theme that Lynn seems to favor more than any other: the hatefulness of physical disloyalty. Why did Mike break it off with Rhetta? She was sleeping around. Why did Liz bean Eric with a frying pan and deliver the weakest Fuck-off-and-die evah to Paul? They had an arm draped around someone else. How did Therese come to be Predator in panty-hose? She knocked boots with someone who wasn't Blandthony. Why did April contemplate kicking Gerald to the curb? It wasn't because he called Shan...non a re...tard. It wasn't because he basically said 'Forget your brain-dead old coot of a granddad, we got band practise' shortly after Jim's stroke. It wasn't even because he tried to get her drunk and 'go roadside'. Simple as paper, he was 'on notice' 'cause he was gonna hang with another girl. Granted, a physical act is pretty bad. But there's something far worse that the Pattersons will not acknowledge: emotional cheating. After all, if you catch someone you think cares for you with his or her pants down, you at least know where you stand. Lusting in one's heart is by far more destructive as it leads people to live a lie. Case in point: John and Elly. I remember in the early years of the strip, Train Man had a habit of selecting assistants based not on their credentials but on their ability to fill out a sweater. Elly called him on having what was more or less a harem and he got all defensive, said he'd never cheat on her and basically turned the question back on her. End result: John got to keep his hotties and Elly got to sit home feeling like a fool for standing up for herself. Years of this manipulative shit have produced a woman who thinks John actually cares about her. A man who really cared about her wouldn't have cynically bribed her with new furniture in order to stampede her into vaildating his latest selfish impulse purchase. Elly isn't the only party to this engaged in denial, though. Johnny Boy has managed to puff himself by stating that since he never had sex outside of marriage, he's morally perfect. As howtheduck reminded me, he would have seen nothing at all wrong with Anthony trying to get Liz to cheat on Therese as long as nothing happened. AS for Anthony's fellow cannibal, Liz may not see herself as a homewrecker but she may as well have been. After all, people aren't as stupid as Anthony and the Pattersons believe they are; Therese and Paul both realized that they'd fallen hard for frauds who lied their asses off about their promises of eternal devotion and sought out real love with real people.