February 23rd, 2008

Snarky Candiru2

Larynx versus Brain: a pattern in detail

Every so often, I ask myself the following question: Do the Pattersons realize how stupid they sound when they talk? Over the years, I've seen them say some pretty awkward things that could have been not said if they'd put some effort into thinking about what they wanted to say. For instance, April may think she sounded mature and profound when she 'cleverly' equated 'prairie' with 'prayer' but the adjectives I'd use would be 'trite' and 'simple-minded'. To be fair, she learned to speak fluent Cornball from her clunky goofola parents. As by way of example, John said that they let Fiona Brass ride roughshod over them because she was a fault they were generous to. Elly herself is a fountain of witless wisdom in her own right. Worse, she's convinced Michael to abandon plain English in favor of her thudding-to-the-ground-like-so-many-sacks-of-wet-oatmeal prose thereby adding bulk, if not clarity, to Stone Season. This may be another reason people might avoid the Foobs. It's bad enough dealing with children they won't control, an eyesore model train layout and dogs they don't care for adequately. Having to listen to the result of their smug refusal to think about what they say before they say it is more irritating than witnessing any amount of phone-book eating.