The need to martyr herself makes RevElly do two stupid things. The first, as I mentioned, is to enable his jerkishness every chance she can get. The second is another habit she shares with Real Elly: systematically destroying any impulse he might have to help out. It isn't hard to imagine her reaction to his doing things his own way instead of the "right" way in the least. It doesn't matter if his way is just as good as her own, she has to correct his 'mistakes' and drive in the fact that he's doing it 'wrong', the ungrateful dimwit. If she admitted that he was trying to help, she couldn't stand around moaning about how he's a bad husband. Since her ludicrous vanity requires her to be the blameless victim all the time, his own impulse to generosity fades real fast. Either way, the desired result is achieved: she gives herself permission to clean and not have help.