Another thing that one must remember about Elly is that she tends to view her own past through a fog of nostalgia, self-delusion and revisionist history. This, of course, means that she tends to condemn others for things that her family know her to do herself. As an example, they remember that she spends a lot of time racing around in a blind panic because her fear and ignorance turn some minor problem into a horrible catastrophe that must be prevented; they also know that she thinks of herself as being as not only steady as a rock but quick to point out when other people think the sky is falling. What's more, they also remember being lectured about as having the same work ethic she does when the evidence of their senses shows them that at the first sign of difficulty, she has a meltdown. Why then do they not point out that she's a stupid hypocrite? Because, well, her toxic personality repels the sort of positive influences they need to learn that her sort of thinking is neither normal nor good.