March 13th, 2012

Snarky Candiru2

More taxes. more problems.....

Round about four years ago, I wrote an article in which I'd speculated that the real reason that John was so insistent on having Liz and Anthony marry is that he needed to have someone around to take care of the family finances after he died. This is because he has a wife who balks at having to read financial statements, a son who needs to take his shoes off to count past ten, an older daughter who could win first prize at a stupidity contest, a youngest daughter who's about to leave the province for good and a daughter-in-law who wants to run a money-hemorrhaging sewing school. Since he's got in his empty head that a member of the family should do the family books, we're forced to watch him look like he's gay for his clone.

What amuses me is what Anthony will eventually find when doing so. The accepted scenario is that he'll discover that decades of waste have left the Pattersons in desperate financial shape. After all, no one in the real world can afford to blow high dough on hobby businesses for the missus, TRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNNSSSSSS!!!!!!, sports cars and kitsch abomination weddings complete with six limos, five for show without having to declare Canadian Chapter Eleven in order to avoid spending the rest of their lives in jail for tax evasion. This would be the occasion for mocking laughter at Assthony's expense because he'd realize that he turned his back on the chance to make it big in order to become the bankruptcy trustee of a family of nitwits.

That being said, a more entertaining prospect comes to mind. Given how stupid John and Elly are and how readily they'll inconvenience themselves in the name of an idiot's propriety, it occurs to me that there are any number of legitimate tax deductions that the simpletons simply will not avail themselves of. Watching Anthony have to explain to the dolts that they've got millions in back refunds coming to them would be more wonderful dumb fun that watching Elly not realize that her inability to do basic arithmetic means that her and every Pattersons' horses are actually the property of the Crown.