May 7th, 2013

Snarky Candiru2

IAt least my plants listen to me: Elly's hobby.

It seems that I owe Elly something of an apology; that's because a casual look ahead as to what's coming reveals that she actually does have something of a hobby: gardening. Every year, she puts out bedding plants and hopes that this is the year that they don't get damaged by the lumbering idiot dog who, for some reason she cannot fathom, loves to flop down, roll around and crush them. The reason that she cannot understand this is hinted at in Farley And The Lost Bone; while all the other Pattersons eventually realize why he's running around digging up the yard, Elly doesn't even come remotely close to doing so. Since Elly simply cannot seem to understand how Farley thinks, she doesn't ever realize that he finds the smell of the potting soil she uses to be attractive. Time and again, she chases him off only to have him saunter right back again because he finds the texture and smell of the soil she uses to be a sort of creature comfort. The idea that he should somehow stay away from the place he loves because the loud human sticks plants in it would no sooner occur to him than would voluntarily immersing himself in hot, soapy water.  Not, of course, that you can actually tell the loud human that. As I've said before, Elly thinks that if she's sincere enough, the dog will sleep someplace else.

She also tends to think that if she's sincere enough, her children won't run through her flower beds racing around playing the mindless games that they only really play just to mess with her because they HAAAAAAAAAAATE adults and want to see them suffer and ruin all their hard work that they are too selfish and chaos-loving to care about. This tells me that Elly doesn't garden to pass the time or because she likes spending time outdoors or anything so benign. SHE gardens so as to have something to be martyred for.