September 15th, 2013

Snarky Candiru2

On the Pattersunbirds.....

The odd thing about the Strip of Destiny is that it has at least one panel that seems to be an accurate prediction of the shape of things to come. Said panel is the part about John and Elly retiring from their horrible, horrible stress-filled jobs in order to hang around tourist deadfalls in the Tropics while congratulating themselves on fleeing their kids, to read alarmist newspaper articles about how the devil interwebs are corrupting children, to meddle witlessly in their community and to subject another generation of children to their self-serving and idiotic travesty of child-rearing.

This would, of course, be seen as something of a well-deserved reward for what two fragile idiots falsely assume to be unreasonable sacrifices made for unappreciative little freeloaders who, despite what a legion of scary, selfish outsiders who clearly don't want John and Elly to be happy might say, could easily have fed, clothed and housed themselves and who clearly only wanted to come with them on their vacations to spread chaos and humiliate the parents they hate.

Mind you, the one thing that they hate more than the horrible idea of being told that their horrible children aren't actually horrible is that they themselves are. It would seem that every so often, it comes back to them that they come across as being two shallow, callow, thin-skinned and short-tempered total incompetent idiot asshole parents who simply can't deal with the demands of three children who, were they any more passive, would have to spend their free time fending off passers-by who mistakenly put dimes on their eyes. The nerve of those people calling them weaklings who can't cope with anything! Don't they know that John and Elly are the victims of all victims surpassing all others. Other people might be gutless assholes fleeing harmless children because they don't have the moral fiber necessary to put up with a too-long line at Tim Hortons; the Pattersons aren't other people because if they were, they'd have to look in the mirror and see something they don't want to: the self-serving failures that they really are.