January 5th, 2014

Snarky Candiru2

The reverse gender human photocopy effect.

As you know by now, I've often thought that we should have gone over the whole "Farley gets loose" thing a year ago and looking at the material from 1986 right now. The reason for this is that 1986 was the year that the strip transitioned from the Early Years to the Middle Years. Elly was settling into her role as part-time librarian, Lizzie was starting school, John and Phil had that horrible camping trip, the Enjo family was starting to acclimate and, yes, Michael had started to mutate from Evil Linus Van Pelt into the whiny, oblivious, self-absorbed, paranoid and incompetent slug I think of when I hear his name. When he wasn't running his stupid mouth about how the only reason Elly wanted a personal identity that wasn't "grinning slave-woman to a Gen-X doughhead" was that she hated him and wanted to see him suffer, he was saying much the same thing about her decision to deliberately not give him the brother that everyone in the freaking world who ain't him knew he'd hate like poison because he'd have to God-damned share like a nobody. Much as his mother before him, he bounced around like a ping-pong ball in a clothes dryer after a series of self-induced disasters that could have been avoided were his brain more than two neurons crazy-glued together because he was too busy thinking that the world was trying to destroy him to notice that he was doing a damned good job of that his own self.

You will notice that if I swap out the he/him/his series of pronouns and the name Michael with she/her/hers and Elly, I don't change the psych profiles by much. This is because Elly's paranoia, her fear of her children and her general lack of smarts is in the process of warping Michael into someone who could have mattered into a subhuman creature I call "Gymnopithecus Stultissimus Canadiensis": The North American Blithering Idiot. Every time she screams in rage because she's sure something that she cannot immediately comprehend is clearly an attack on her freedom, every time she acts like looking at Mike when she lectures him is a defeat, every time she forgets that her children have more of an attention span than she ever will is a time that makes Mike less of a person and more of a Foob. Eventually, it becomes too much like work to be a man in his own right and it's off to the attic to ticka-tacka-tappa away.