April 27th, 2014

Snarky Candiru2

How to not remember a childhood.

As I type this, I do so in the knowledge that it has been seven frustrating years since the Housening. Seven years since John and Deanna cooked up a stupid scheme to allow him to play with his toys at the expense of his family. Seven years since April was treated like a radioactive leper with Tourette's syndrome because of an insane delusion that she wanted Mike, Deanna and their innocent children to die in a gutter and laugh at their suffering because teenagers are cruel, selfish monsters. Seven years since that stupid prick John made those hateful comments about the daughter he's too lazy and arrogant to ever have gotten to know being a princess. Above all, it's been seven years since Deanna and Mike agreed that they want their kids to have the same care-free, idyllic childhood of laughter and happiness he had.

The reason for this is that it's obvious that Michael willed himself to forget that he was never really allowed much of a childhood and spent the portion of his time that wasn't feeling unwelcome living in fear of his grasping, arrogant, selfish and insane parents. This amnesia seems to have had the salutary effect of making him a calmer man but has the drawback of making him a far dumber one. Since he can't or won't remember a life of constant, made-up emergencies, he can't really be that effective a father to the children he doesn't understand well. Given that he was brought up to be helpless by a self-serving imbecile, his only possible claim to be a good parent is that he provides the only thing a man is supposed to: money. Time, attention and affection mean nothing to Lynn if a father don't bring home the bacon and it shows.