Of course John isn't the only insensitive clod in the family who thinks that he or she deserves to be rewarded for being a crude dude with an attitude. While we know that Mike revels in mistreating Elizabeth because she wounded his delicate feelings by breathing and existing and denying him the pig's share of the attention of their worthless parents who flee in horror from his cruel, selfish and unreasonable demand that they do more for him than the bare minimum that they do. As I'm about to prove, while Elly expects her children to be polite and considerate when they speak to her, she has no real problem with being a dismissive jerk to them.
The example that comes readiest to mind is the whole mess with the trumpet practice. As near as I can make out, the problem with this whole thing is that Elly never managed to admit to herself that Michael had the same problem with being discouraged by a lack of progress she has and that his interests had the same fickleness as her own. Well, there's that and her seeming belief that when she doesn't have to deal with a problem, it cannot possibly exist. The problem I have in mind is, of course, her insanely high expectations for him and the equally insane consequences for failure that she alone sees. As I've said before, her unreasoning reasoning seems to be "If Mike doesn't take things seriously RIGHT NOW, he'll just die in a gutter. If he had any sort of a heart at all, he'd see that his insistence on having a childhood is just getting in his way of having an adult life! Shouldn't he willingly make that sacrifice and be grateful and be a good son and stop tellling evil lies about how I am puttting too much pressure on him? I mean, ME, putting pressure on people!! Who does he think I am? My MOTHER?!?!"
Since Elly can no more get it through her thick skull that she's seen as a cruel disciplinarian who delights in tormenting children just because she hates being the bad guy, she can't quite wrap her tiny brain around the fact that someone who feels as if he's being set up to fail horribly so that his mother can stand there forever and scream about what a bad, horrible, selfish, lazy son who hates her and is ungrateful wants to get the lecture about the dagger in his poor old Mom's heart over with as soon as possible so he can die in peace feels as if he's being pulled in two. Since Elly is as averse to John to seeing that their children live lives of fear, despair and depression, her response to the occasional reminder of this fact is to reject it out of hand and tell the cry-babies and princesses that since Mommy and Daddy can't see a problem, none exists so quit making a big deal outta nothing.