August 31st, 2014

Snarky Candiru2

The looniness of the long-distance Patterson

You can't read descriptions of Lynn's travels without coming away with the impression that at some point and for some reason that she'll never divulge, she became afraid of large crowds, long distances and wide open spaces. She needs an escort at all times as a means of protecting herself from the fear of the scary outside world with its scary machines, scary looking people and scary new everything. Not only does this translate into the irritating belief that curiosity about the outside world is a mental defect that has to be cured so that a child can become an adult living in a gated community and embrace the isolation from a terrifying outside world that is the hallmark of being an adult, it also is why Pattersons don't like driving long distances to see friends but instead expect that said friend has to come to them.

This, of course, is why Elly never even thought of traveling to scary, scary Thunder Bay with its oppressively scary new sights, different radio stations and strange time zone. The image of getting hopelessly lost and dying in a strange place filled with strange people who don't care about her is too powerful to ignore. This fear of being lost in a strange place is also why Anthony never bothered coming up North when Liz was in University. The only reasons Elly ever goes somewhere different is to either escape from the horrible children who want to siphon away her identity or to drag them along so that she can berate them about being horrible children who don't want to admit how wonderful it is to spend their days with old people they barely know and be hectored about how stupid they are to not talk about people they haven't met doing things that happened long before they were born.