December 12th, 2014

Snarky Candiru2

On being sand in the chewing gum of life.

Of course, John's having his head up his arse about how people aren't grateful that he tells them the truth is matched by Elly having her head wedged somewhere as regards what the people around her need to do to be positive members of society. A recent Lynnsight which had Lynn speculate that the reason people picked on her children is that they didn't feel included in her strip suggests a rather unsettling ignorance as to how people actually behave. A normal person would realize that this would not make everything magically okay but Lynn is not a normal person.

What Lynn seems to be is a rather unrepentant bully who lashed out because of her own insecurity and fear of a world that seemed to be trying to make her lose all the time and like it. Rather than see that other bullies target children because they're jerks who kinda like to watch kids squirm because it makes them happy, she gave a filthy sadist who decided to jam it to her youngest for no better reason than it pleased him into a freaky little mutant who was lashing out at a stand-in for a dad who followed an evil, distracting star instead of buckling down and being a square. Never does it occur to her that bullies can be found in normal-looking, non broken homes because her brain is made of self-pity and television shows.

This lack of real insight into the problem is why it is that I'm sort of pumped to see her contribution to the Bullying Is No Laughing Matter campaign. Her protege Eliot is aware that the problem is deeper than harmonicas and tough to solve but her....not so much. We're dealing with a soppy moron who thinks that being nice to people like Jeremy Jones is going to pay dividends because of her own stupid issues.
Snarky Candiru2

The loser who needs to win....

The interesting thing about the upcoming week is that one of the vignettes reminds us of why it is that Michael acts out so very often. What we have is Jim baffled by Mike's wishing that just once, Gramps could be a pal and lose so he can actually win something. In this, he proves that Phil is very much his son because neither of them ever quite managed to realize that the boy felt that not only was he supposed to lose all the time, he was supposed to love constant defeat and humiliation. This is because neither Jim nor Phil had the advantage of being able to access the strip's catalog and learn the horrible truth about what life is really like for the budding delicate genius.

We start things off with Mike wailing that no one loves him because Elly isn't going to drop everything while he sits on his ass, continue merrily on with how no one loves him because he can do so many things but he's supposed to be ignored and love it while they fawn over Lizzie for simply being alive, follow that with his wailing about how he has to go to a building where he has to agree that yes, he has to learn the stoooooopid numbers that bore and confuse him because it's unfair that adding gives you the same answer every time and conclude with his squealing like a caught pig about being a rung on a ladder enslaved in family politics because he can't throw his weight around. While it's true that we're dealing with a vain, immature and self-absorbed clod who thinks that the least reverse is a sign that he's supposed to be an unacknowledgeable zero sitting in the outer darkness who's only allowed to appear in public when the bad people want to laugh at and kick and abuse because he dares to want to be happy, it can be safely said that his parents don't see the problem because they're busy congratulating themselves for letting it fester as long as it has.

After all, we're dealing with two fragile people who think that if Mike were to 'get away' with winning, the world would collapse into an anarchy where they're never allowed to say or do anything ever again because they too are the sort of eight-year old whiny annoyance that inhabits Marc Brown's "Arthur" range of books. The difference is that the anthropomorphic (and oddly snub-nosed) aardvark unsympathetic comedy protagonist is going to grow out of that some day. They never do and it's wonderful.