April 9th, 2015

Snarky Candiru2

Phil versus what children think.

The interesting thing about Phil's idiotic decision to try to 'encourage' Mike by making him listen to one of the masters of the form is, oddly enough, its complete and utter tone deafness. It's not enough that he doesn't see himself as being the angry loudmouth who wants to steal Michael's childhood away from him forever and deny him any chance to laugh and feel good about himself without his failure to realize what Marsalis must mean to a child.

To explain this blind spot, let's remind ourselves of the end of the film "A Boy Named Charlie Brown." As we all know, the Round-Headed Kid bobbles the spelling of the word "beagle" and ends up coming in second place in the State spelling bee and he feels as if the world has come to an end because he's humiliated himself forever and ever. Someone who understood kids would nod his or her head, realize that that's the deal with a rather gloomy child who takes everything too seriously and accept it. Phil, I should think, would be totally confused by this. After all, the boy came in second place and that's pretty darned good, right? What kind of messed up world does this kid live in where coming in second mean he's freaking radioactive? And why do parents keep showing up complaining about how he's riding their kids too hard and making them feel bad about themselves?

This is because we're dealing with the same man who doesn't want his own childhood to matter all that much. From his angry refusal to validate the fact that Elly felt as if she could never catch up to him and that she was always kept on a tighter reign just because she was a girl and his sullen refusal to admit that perhaps his cruel stunt of charging his chums to see her change because no one would do anything about it mattered to his eventual belief that she doesn't need any victories because time doesn't exist, we're looking at a man who needs to believe that children are resilient because if they are not, his suspicion that he'd probably have made a terrible father would be more than confirmed. Simply put, he'd be John Patterson with a scrub bush mustache and a need to blame everyone else but himself for every time he felt bad. Shit. He's what you'd get if Shaggy were to become Anthony's dialogue coach.