July 17th, 2015

Snarky Candiru2

And then there's the other girl's rich father.

To continue on with my look at the cast of Archie, I'd like to share my thoughts about the only adult who really matters in any way: Hiram Lodge. As we're about to see, he more or less is the engine of the plot because it's his decision to base his company in Riverdale that turned "Archie and Betty have to get over themselves" into the eternal ricochet from the girl he's known like forever and the girl who he's confessed that he's mainly interested in because people like Jughead and his dad keep harping on about how dangerous she is.

The reason he's always given for the move is that his daughter is slowly but certainly becoming someone he doesn't especially like: an entitled jerk who not only thinks money grows on trees but also thinks herself somehow better than people merely because her daddy has money and connections. She didn't build that so it bothers him that she acts like an insensitive snob. His cure is to move to a nice, friendly town of good people who need their economy kickstarted and to enroll her in the local high school so she can learn to see that she's not actually the center of the universe.

The immediate drawback of his plan that for some reason, she's going to come home dragging someone who's perhaps too average and announcing him as the second coming. While aware perhaps of the odd personal magnetism the Andrews boy has, he'll be able to see Arch for what he is: a physically and socially awkward human being who stumbles along from one self-created crisis to the next and who seems to be pretty much deliberately using the only really valuable thing in his life as a stick to beat his real girlfriend with. This Anthony-like element in him will be as appealing to him as the real Anthony is to us.

He also won't find the indecisive dithering the boy does much to his liking either. We see comic hijinks every time Archie once again schedules a date with both girls at the same time. He sees a clod tempting fate because he doesn't have the guts or the gear to make a simple decision because he doesn't really see that Archie is someone things happen to. The thing that's always happened to Archie and is about to happen again is that he's going to be the prize in a horrible and pointless rivalry.