October 2nd, 2015

Snarky Candiru2

Potential long-term story arc four: The thief of lives

As we know, Mike's magnum opus "Stone Season" is actually the story of Agnes Dingle re-told by an idiot. What happened is that he took the story of a girl from Belfast who fell hard for some guy from the Prairies who had a really crappy time of life because the no-hoper turned from Prince Charming back into a Labatt-swilling toad as soon as he traded in his uniform for civilian clothing. All Mike added were a lot of stupid words and the nit-witted presumption that it's somehow ennobling to live in unnecessary squalor thrust upon one by a stubborn, moody piece of shit.

The reason that I mention this is that his second book 'Blood Cargo' is possibly the story of that janitor who didn't want his story told back in journalism class. Since the man had probably died, it seemed to Mike that no one would mind turning the man's back story into a horrible novel about life on the high seas. What this tells me is that Michael's grasp on how people think and behave hasn't really improved since the days of "sum kids was lost an'then waz fownd." The reason is that since he doesn't actually have ideas of his own, he pirates the lives of others to make his glurge.

How this would manifest itself in the For Richer project is every so often, we'd see Mike come unglued due to the antics of a blogger called "Hippychick49" who regularly trashes his works on line. He doesn't know who she is, where she lives, what motivates her or where she gets the gall to pick apart every little thing he does. All Mike knows is that this mysterious figure is contributing to some horrible on-line community that takes books that they deem to be crap and pretend that they're Robert Pattinson saying that Stephanie Meyer wants locking up and he hates it.

It would at some point be revealed that Hippychick49 is Elly. Her primary motivation is getting revenge on him for stealing the manuscript she submitted once only to have it rejected because ovaries and passing it off as his own and turning it into a franchise. Her secondary motivation is for the lifetime of being treated like his servant.
Snarky Candiru2

Potential story arc five: Echoes of Farley.

One of the things that used to really bother me about the strip is that the Farley issue was never really resolved to any sort of logical, moral satisfaction. We had a bit of glurge here, a bit of simpering about April toppling into a river there but it seems to me that Elly never really quite figured out that April nearly died because her mother was an inept boob who couldn't be asked to secure the back gate properly. This would need to be addressed in some manner or another by a new creative team who knows what the phrase "statute of limitations" means.

What it means in Canada is that there is no such thing as a statute of limitations for the indictable offense of criminal negligence resulting in bodily harm. What it also means is that Elly would possibly be convicted because of a legal fiction called 'the reasonable person.' You see, a reasonable person would be expected to know that a four year old child told to ask "someone" if she could leave the property would take that to mean "any random person" instead of "me or Daddy." A reasonable person would not waste team asking a stupid question when it's clear to most people that small children don't understand what storm warnings are. What this means is that any time, someone could just waltz on down to the police station and file a report against Elly for dropping the ball.

Let's make that person Deanna. At some point or other, it would probably become too much to bear to have Elly not be grateful to have Mike boss her around too and she'd nark on her to the cops as a means of punishing her for not loving Mike. We could have Rhetta come in as Elly's mouthpiece wondering why Mike is using Farleygate to hurt the family instead of heal it, Elly doing a lot of soul searching about how she never seemed to have the time for her children even when she had the time, things looking fairly dicey only to have the whole matter resolved because Rhetta pulled a rabbit out of a hat: a recall order on the latching system because it wasn't actually kid-proof. We'd see footage of an employee of Underwriters Laboratory thinking it was latched securely because he tried to force it open from the top only to kneel down to kid height and open it easily. While said rabbit would die because Elly saw April do it, she'd save herself anyway because she told John to fix the latch. We'd have Steve come in, tell everyone he saw John work on the latch and falsely think it was fixed and report a fallacious success to Elly. The end result is that Elly is not on the hook for an indictable offense. She is, however, found guilty of failure to report an accident to authorities and will thus have to spend six months doing community service at the children's hospital.