October 10th, 2015

Snarky Candiru2

On gut punches and coffee cups.

I'd like to get back to the strip we actually have by talking about an issue dear to my heart: Lynn's default assumption that a mere woman could never really hurt a big, tough man and its pal the idea that a man who could get hurt by a woman isn't really a man at all. In the Early Years, this manifested itself in an angry Elly hurling a coffee cup at the back of John's head when he said something that displeased her. This, of course, continues on for years but is accompanied by something else as the Middle and Later Years arrive: Elizabeth firing off and punching Michael in the stomach when he won't shut his fat yap.

When Liz starts getting mood swings, what generally happens is that Mike will be an abrasive, patronizing and belittling dick come to remind Liz that she should just stand around and let a complete plum duff be a hateful shit to her because she's his sister and thus doesn't deserve to be treated like a human being. The end result is that Dumb-ass ends up doubling over because either Lady Haymaker or the Duchess of Waling violently interface with his midsection. In the real world, his dad would standing around drooling and being spoon-fed because coffee cups are heavy and the effect of repetitive concussions is to turn the brain into a sponge. In the real world, he'd be all bruised and coughing up blood because the end result of gut punches is to turn one's insides into sausage meat. In the real world, there isn't one law of physics for big strong men and another for weak little wifeys. Then again, Lynn isn't interested in the real results of violence. We'll see that when Liz clocks Eric over the head with a frying pan and he doesn't end up with debilitating brain damage that leaves him speaking like a stroke victim.