July 6th, 2016

Snarky Candiru2

On not actually wanting to know things.

I think it's safe to say that a lot of the conflict between Mike and Lizzie could have been avoided if they had parents who actually wanted to know who did what to whom and why. The problem is that they got stuck with an incompetent moron like Elly who cares a damned sight more about how strangers might view her than anything trivial and pointless like her children's feelings or why they do the things they do. As always, things tend to follow a set of steps that usually go as follows:

  1. Lizzie does something that Mike takes as a personal affront because he's a really fragile idiot with poor impulse control and an unrealistic image of himself.
  2. His reaction to said phenomenon is to turn into an idiotic raging nitwit determined to smash her to bits over what's usually piddly crap not worth anyone sensible's time.
  3. When told to calm down and reason things through, Mike doubles down on being Red-Eye The Atavism.
  4. His antics finally come to the attention of Saint Elly, Guardian Spirit Of Asleep At The Switch Parenting.
  5. He and Lizzie are prevented from explaining what was going on because Saint Elly is ALSO Guardian Spirit Of Viewing Her Children's Lives As Absolutely Never Mattering Or Having Any Effect On Them Later In Life.
  6. Elly imposes a punishment that teaches Mike nothing because she gleefully blinds herself to the root cause of the animosity: her refusal to reassure him that just because they had a new baby that it didn't mean that there was never going to be room for the old one.


The irritating thing is that Elly can go from lamenting the fact that her need to crush Phil to bits for breathing her air was a bad thing that lead to unnecessary conflict and the residual urge to delight in his suffering to huffily stating that it's a very different thing when talking about her own children. This is owing to her being poor at understanding any viewpoint not immediately her own and results in her asking people what kind of horrible monster they are when they try saying something cruel and mean about how children haven't been around long enough yet to know what is and isn't worth fighting over merely because she has.