August 25th, 2016

Snarky Candiru2

Dial F for Futility: Elly and Molly.

As you know, Elly has severe difficulty understanding the viewpoint of the people around her. I've spent damned near ten years commenting on the fact that she gets confused and angered when having to deal with the idea that people either have experienced things she has not or have not experienced things she has. She doesn't seem to want to understand that merely because she sees time as zipping by before she can even begin to catch up, it doesn't mean that her children are trying to trick her when they see time as dragging on forever. The sort of indignant squawking about how her kids must be lying because time hasn't dragged on like slow torture since she was six or so and they know it because it also zips by far too quickly for them is indicative of what it is that keeps her from being able to communicate with other people. Since she always assumes that her immediate perspective is the only valid one and that no one is capable of experiencing anything in any sort of different way, the deluded boomer numbskull almost always makes an ass of herself when she talks to kids.

This is, of course, owing to her charming tendency to not understand the odd concepts called 'etiquette' or 'reality' when doing so gets in the way of her feeling right. A normal person would know to not take sides in a break-up (especially when it's forced) because she doesn't have all the facts at hand. St Elli, Guardian Spirit Of Being A Blundering Ass doesn't see that as being a good thing because she thinks every messed-up relationship is her own screwed-up dalliance with a succession of boys who either saw her as a clingy and pathetic joke or, due to her volatile personality and her veteran dad with a low tolerance for hippies, as a threat to their person. Since being rejected by someone is the only way she's ever been on the other side of a break-up, she assumes that this boy has cruelly dumped her.

She also assumes something manifestly not the case when she tells herself that she's doing a good thing telling her to flush this boy because she's certain that she would have wanted someone like her to come along and tell her the same thing back then. This sort of nonsense is why there is the phrase 'not even wrong.' We don't know much about her past other than maundering about tear-stained pillows when the longed-for ones wound up in the clutches of the dangerous body language squadron but we do know that she probably still resents her mother for making the same sort of dismissive cheering-up she's pulling now and we know that no girl in Molly's position is going to go "Gee! You're right! I should simply go on with my life because he isn't the be-all and end-all of existence! I apologize to everyone for having inconvenient feelings and will now join the pep squad!" because that's not how they roll. To assume otherwise because it would make life easier is to deliberately misunderstand a fundamental fact and be not even wrong.
Snarky Candiru2

Molly's expiry date.

To continue this look at what Elly is doing wrong here, let's remind ourselves that Elly hasn't the vaguest idea of what Molly actually wants. She isn't looking for advice, she isn't looking for guidance, she isn't looking to be told that she should move on and she definitely isn't looking for a comment on how some old lady failed math. What she's looking for is for someone to agree that for reasons beyond her control, her life has been totally upset and that it sucks that it happened. Her father isn't around when she wants to have her feelings acknowledged and the woman he married is distinctly unsympathetic to her plight so she's looking for someone to vent to and she ain't getting it.

The reason, sadly, is that she lives in a world that fears and hates a moody teen-ager who wants to be told that her life isn't all sunshine and rainbows and unicorn farts. From whining ass-bucket John making that hateful and stupid comment about problem hair to that ignorant pinhead Eva Warzone checking April's expiry date, it's sort of obvious that we live in a world hostile to the idea of people getting things off their chest and getting catharsis. The idea should be that a child should bury feelings of confusion, loss and alienation to make things easier for the adults causing the problem for a very stupid reason: the child must serve as an emotional crutch to stupid old people who see their blessed lives as a bleak hell-world because other people have free will.

Well, there's that and they're stupid enough to not understand that children aren't chaos-loving monsters who want to ruin them. After all, you can't read John's arch and moronic comments about not knowing that he'd raised a princess without telling yourself "Holy Shit! This stupid sack of bastard thinks that the kid wants to laugh at her brother and his family as they freeze to death instead of wanting to be told that things will work out for her!" Someone who'd pull a chair out from under a child because he automatically assumed that she cussed out her idiot mother simply isn't capable of seeing a child any other way because he's an authoritarian muttonhead who needs his arse kicked for him.