February 10th, 2017

Snarky Candiru2

On not knowing what she's missing: a study of Elly in the winter.

Every so often, we are treated to a reminder that Elly is not especially good at winter sports. She is too unbalanced to skate, she can't ski very well, snowmobiles give her the galloping fantods and even watching other people enjoy winter activities gives her the willies. Elly's idea of a great winter day is sitting inside with the heat blasting feeling superior to people who stupidly go out in the frozen world of death, ice, snow and icy, snowy death that smart people would do well to avoid.

The reason for this is that Lynn seems to have been a sort of fixture of most neighbourhoods as a child. Every so often, you'd notice that when the temperature dropped down to a certain point, someone, usually a girl, was always found inside with a thousand-yard stare on her face looking at all the people enjoying a brisk winter day her messed-up metabolism turned into a frozen horror. This is why we almost always end winters at the Pattermanse with Elly complaining about how horrible it was to be housebound for five months or so.