September 8th, 2018

Snarky Candiru2

"How could they dump us first?": the Pattersons versus free will.

The interesting thing about this school year is that towards the end of it, we see the second intensive phase of Mike's doomed relationship with Martha. The reason that this matters is that what made things difficult in the first place is what ends it: Mike's inability to control Martha's behaviour and thus keep himself from being exposed to embarrassment like a boring, ordinary person.

The first example of this irritating tendency is when he stood around acting like a massive weeping dick because he thought had to keep their relationship a secret lest he get teased and also lest Elly find out and destroy things by sharing every embarrassing story about him ever because of that hate-on she has for his being thought of as cool.

Last February, he wanted her to have a positive reaction to the demeaning gross-out Valentine's card because he thought that if she loved him and didn't want to play games with him, she should accept being called ugly and dumb so that his friends didn't laugh at him or wonder why it's suddenly different and wrong to keep her friends.

This leads us to last April when he was less angry at her for hitting on Lawrence than he was for not admitting that if she loved him, she should be content to waste an evening standing around waiting for him to get the nerve to ask her to dance.

This habit of mind persists and colours the rest of their time as a couple. He is unable to control her trepidation about writing him when he's at Exile Farm because she's too damned afraid to say the wrong thing and make him lose his shit like the idiot he is and he's unable to control her not wanting to be taken for granted by a clueless ape who forgets her name half the time because he's too busy fixating on getting his learner's permit. This leaves him asking the same question Liz eventually does when Anthony wanted to go on break for a while: "Why wasn't I the dumper insead of the dumpee?"

If someone wanted to help the dumb son-of-a-bitch, they might try to do something futile and explain "because you're a fatuous goof who drives people away acting like the Sun shines outta yer arse, Stupid."