June 10th, 2020

Snarky Candiru2

Why Michael could not call for help.....

The irritating thing about John's breezy assumption that it's safe to leave April at the tender mercies of his idiot son is that he doesn't really understand how bad a babysitter Mike is. He doesn't know that Mike had to be bailed out the first time and let the Nichols kids run amok the second time so he could record their bad behaviour. This allows him to assign Mike intellect, resourcefulness and willingness that were notable for the purity of their absence. Elly, however, did remember by giving him means of escape that he did not take advantage of because he didn't want to look like what he was: a stupid idiot out of his depth. He cannot call them because he thinks he'll get yelled at. He cannot call Anne because he's worried she'll tell Elly that he's too stupid to live. He cannot call Gordon because he's afraid he'll get teased.

Most of all, he cannot follow the instructions Elly gave him because he's got his pride and doesn't want to face the fact that he doesn't know what he's doing so has to be nagged by remote control. Also, he could not tag in Martha because he didn't want to be accused of turning the Pattermanse into a hanky-panky house. This means that he's what I expect him to be: a nitwit who can't cope with a stressful situation stuck without someone to yell to for help. This is what Deanna is for, after all.
Snarky Candiru2

On the dangers of outfits and the fathers who oppose them.

The interesting thing about watching Elly make huffy comments about the scandalous outfits girls like Martha and April want to leave the house in is that she fails to learn the lesson she should from every time John tells Liz point blank "You aren't leaving the house dressed like that, young lady!!" when she wants to head out wearing the sort of abbreviated outfits that he approves of on girls he's not related to. I've told you why he's averse to remembering or considering the fact that the girls he undresses don't appreciate the favour but instead of talking about his not wanting to feel like the shameful lout he is, I'd like to talk about the blind-eyed moron Elly is.

This is because she talks about dangerous outfits and lacking the body and the language and simpers about boys who magically found reasons to break dates with her leaving her lost and sad and alone and heartsick and feeling as if she were never going to be married and blames all the wrong people. She blames the popular girls who didn't actually want her to die alone despite her belief otherwise. She blames the mother who always lacked faith in her because she didn't praise her for every little thing she ever did. She blamed evil conflict-causing men for designing clothes that flattered everyone but her because it's 'their' fault she mentally magnifies every fault she has to billboard size. Her ultimate failing as a person is that she did not blame the one person who deserved it: Jim Richards, Over-Protective Father.

Y'see, like a lot of English Canadians, Jim had a severe authoritarian streak to his personality. People like him are why French on cereal boxes used to be seen as a Papist plot to undermine the British Empire. People like him went berserk with glee when Trudeau The Elder declared martial law during the October Crisis. Greg is a people like him and moved from his home because his little girl was dating a CREATURE OF DARKNESS and not some boring non-entity who rebelled in unison with other drones who made tame noise about sticking it to the Man because the Man wanted to sell them AC/DC LPs. This means that it's damned obvious to me that anyone with the bad luck to trigger the right-wing loon father Elly idolizes was taken aside and threatened with mayhem if he didn't step off. John passed the test by being even more boring, bland and conventional than Jim himself was. Elly knows nothing of this and never will because she doesn't understand male behaviour and never shall.
Snarky Candiru2

Further dangers of outfits.

Of course, Elly's patented solution to the 'problem' of girls wearing dangerous outfits is to take the decision power away from them, their peers and the evil, conflict-causing men who design and sell them so as to block their power to distract boys. Thus we have her need to impose uniforms so that the only voice that a child can listen to is (naturally) her own or that of a trusted surrogate: a school teacher. With one glaring exception, Elly has a deep and abiding respect for the teachers who she feels almost duty-bound to apologize to.

Said exception is Liz's mentor and alleged role model, Miss Edwards. As we're about to see in about five months' time, it bothers Elly that Liz comes to this stranger with her problems when she's right there, ready to dispense what she sees as loving wisdom and what everyone else sees as more of her guano. Elly can't admit it but she is jealous of this woman and always will be. The reason that I mention this festering disdain for an interloper is that it feeds directly into why Elly is really at pains to disrupt the Mike/Martha pairing. Simply put, Elly would really love it if Mike were to marry someone who could be her clone so that hers is the only voice he listens to. Martha is an attractive package for (you guessed it) abandoning and rejecting her love. Everything else she is so much wind in sails.
Snarky Candiru2

Elly and the gossip machine.

As I've said before, April gets her angry refusal to admit to bitterly envying someone from her parents. John isn't against music as a career because someone left him for someone with the stamina to stick with music lessons and Elly doesn't see John's staff as a harem who yearn to wreck her marriage despite both being the case. The reason that I mention this is that what Elly doesn't know doesn't sustain, delight and reassure her. Said unknown known that should be known is that it's obvious as all Hell to me that the women Elly sees as a harem follow the lead of their mother hen Jean and despise John.

After all, Jean is little more than a walking sitcom cliché in that she's a sassy annoyance who lives to berate the man who signs her pay cheques. She started out thinking that her boss was a louse who'd cheat on a woman she saw as a put-upon and mistreated figure in a heart-beat and pretty much ended that way. Since she arranged his work environment to suit herself, it's quite likely that John's staff see him in the same dim light. Thus do we have the comic irony of Elly seeing the only people on Earth as she'd like to be seen as threats who seek her ruin. Were she to become aware that his staff and her co-workers loathed John beyond mortal comprehension, she would not know whether to be thrilled to have supporters or confused that they don't do what her fears tell her they should.