dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

Pet ownership and other accidents......

On 1 July 2009, forworse reminded us all of an alarming trend: the inability of anyone in the Pattersons' world to bring companion animals into their lives in a responsible fashion. So far, we've seen:


  • Farley, who was adopted primarily as a means of 'teaching' Mike to 'be responsible'; he was adopted when a local breeder was farming out the runt of the litter to some sap who believed that having a dog would magically improve his family's life. How the dog would fit into his family dynamic, who would really take care of him and neutering him were never taken into consideration.

  • This leads us to Edgar, the living, breathing consequence of the Pattersons' feckless refusal to do the right thing. He, as we all know, is the end result of a non-neutered male dog siring a litter off a female who was likewise left intact by her idiot owner. Although primary caregiver Elly did neuter this one, she still never bothered training him or supervising him adequately.

  • Next comes Sera, the dog Farley mated with. As we all know, Connie brought her into her life on a whim because she was tired of waiting for Lawrence to stop being gay, get married and give her grandbabies to fuss over; she refused to go over the decision with her idiot husband Greg who had to agree to a fait accompli.

  • Mr. B., the rabbit. Liz bought him at an auction because she didn't want to go empty handed and palmed him off on April because she was too lazy to take care of him.

  • Butterscotch. the rabbit. April adopted him (without, of course consulting anyone first) after the first rabbit died. Duncan's mother was eager to clear out the menagerie her son had collected and found a sucker in overalls ready to help her.

  • Jim's dog Dixie. She came into the Pattersons' lives when Jim helped out a friend; you see, the man had moved into a building with a strict no-pets policy. When he in turn moved to the same building, Dixie stayed behind with Elly.

  • Shimsaa the cat. She was a stray kitten that Jesse Mukwa hectored a reluctant Liz into adpoting; how Liz would be able to cope with pet ownership or how the poor creature would live in a house with cat-fearing Elly never came up as a subject of conversation until after Elly unhinged her jaws and started screaming.

  • The endless succession of goldfish that John got Mike so he could have a pet; it's sort of obvious that a five year old would end up being an unwitting executioner of small animals to anyone who isn't John Patterson.


As she pointed out in her entry, no one in the Pattersons' world took the time to see how their pets would fit into their lives. It seems that Lynn assumes that pets are simply things people have and preparing for them is a useless waste of time.

Tags: lynn versus the real world, one big oblivious family
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