dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

April, The Fifth Wheel.

If an investigator from Social Services were to magically appear in the oh-so-insular and self-absorbed world of our merry band of monomaniacs, she'd find a lot of things to be enraged about. Let's review them, shall we?
1) John: A jackass who's so obsessed with some screwy model train layout, his sanity, decency and dignity have swirled down the crapper.
2) Mike: An immature buffoon who only interacts with his children on the rare occasions it's convenient for him.
3) Deanna: A self-loathing Eastern European busy trying to turn her children into carbon copies of her in laws so they won't bear the horrible stigma of being Polish.
4) Liz: An vain and unsympathetic clodpoll with such a huge grievance against the children of the world, she became a teacher so she could avenge herself upon them en masse.
5) Elly: A blustering victim of bi-polar disorder who regards them either as proof of her son's virilty or something to have to clean up after, not as people she has to waste her wortlhless time getting to know.
She'd probably have Meredith and Robin with either Grandma Mira or Auntie Andrea by nightfall, so they're looked after. That, however, leaves her with a huge problem and it's one the Foobtastic Five seem to have forgotten: APRIL!!! After all, she is still a minor and, if the Gerald incident a while back is any indication, by no means ready to be unsupervised. The Patterson clan, however, do not seem to be aware of that fact. John, Elly, Mike, Dee and Liz seem to think she's practically ready to leave the nest now. John's explanation of the move is telling; he's flat out told her "We're moving down the block, wanna come with?" like he's done raising her. The other four drips are the same fucking way! It's either "Tag along and we'll pretend we're actually raising you or we'll let a flunky do our job for us". Given the fact they're so fucking stupid they'd BRAG about this sort of crap, I don't think they'd have April to screw over too much longer. The shocked (Shocked, I tell you!) look on their faces when the Family Court judge rips'em all a new one would probably be the only thing that would get April to smile again.
Tags: one big oblivious family
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