dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

Elegy for fallen Beta: the view from Kool-Aid Mountain.

As expected, the funeral for Frank the dead fish was maudlin, silly, twee, bathetic and manipulative. We can thus think of him as a tiny version of Wacko Jacko whose demise made me fear that CNN would stick a webcam in the man's coffin so we could see the Gloved One decompose. The motives are even the same; just as Jackson's death is the best thing that could have happened to his career, Frank's burial in a Birks coffin distracts Lynn's devoted fans from how awful a parent Elly is. We can look forward to any number of silly letters that simper that, despite her confiscating Mike's candy out of idiot malice, Elly actually does love him after all. The only question that faces us now is how bad the grammar and spelling will be.

Tags: coffee talkers
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