The problem with Elly blaming all of her bad decisions on John is, as clio_1 pointed out, that it makes a grown woman who has free will present herself a helpless puppet of fate. Lynn's lack of any real sympathy for women seems to have the odd symptom of making them all into helpless children who either suffer from the baleful domination of bad men or huddle under the protection of the good. The idea that women are actually responsible for their lives is not something that she wishes to acknowledge as it means that she can't blame anyone but herself for her woes. This tendency would tend to interfere with the on-going attempt to turn John into a supervillain and thus make a mockery of the new-ruins. One of the strips that Lynn probably has no intention of reprinting shows us John's basic dilemma:
Panel 1: As Elly stares off into space, John makes the palms-out gesture and says "Now, let's see....You want something but don't know exactly what...."
Panel 2: "...you're dissatisfied but don't know why and want to get away but don't know where."
Panel 3: Elly asks him if he's mad at her.
Panel 4: As he walks off, he says he's not really sure.
Simply put, he can't know who Elly is because she not only won't tell him, she doesn't really know who she is either. All she does seem to know is that she can never seem to be satisfied with her life and that someone else is to blame. We thus end up having to look at a clumsy, stubborn, slow-witted goofola who doesn't have much tact dealing with a volatile mess who needs to have someone to scream at when she's feeling lost and confused or someone to bully into complying with the notion that he or she owes her when she feels wronged. Since she doesn't know why she's upset, he and the kids have to absorb a lot of cheap theatrics and manipulation; since he's a gullible dunce who's been conditioned to obey mother figures, he believes her bullshit stories about what the kids do and acts accordingly. What makes things worse is that the sullen doorknob made this happen to himself; just as he doesn't question the outdated values he believes in because he's not smart enough to ask himself why he believes them, he was dim enough to believe the false Elly he dated was the real deal. Anyone stupid enough to fall for HER sales pitch is not worth our respect so he sort of deserves to live with a walking, talking fountain of sulfuric acid. What is even worse is that trying to adapt to her insanity is making him a worse person in his own right; he started out as the Great Provider who'd hand out money as needed to all comers but, after being constantly yelled at by his insane wife for 'being demeaning', turned into a skinflint who thought that he had to make a six-year old vacuum a car to make him feel self-actualized.