dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

Hockey Night in Milboring.

As I mentioned a little while ago, I believe that had the strip gone on past August 2008, we'd right now be in the early part of a new, fifth era: the Obstructive Years. The reasons that I call it by that name are as follows:

  1. John's statement that he and Elly would have to be careful-careful with their money tells me that we'd return to the anxious days of the early eighties when the two of them were struggling to get by on not a lot of money.
  2. Their lack of spending cash would not be blamed on their improvident behavior but on their having a third child which means that the lecturing and hostility April was subjected to when Elly decided that she'd quit being a mother would look like a golden age of fair treatment.
  3. Mike and Liz would have to pay a tithe of their insanely high income because Elly and John fed, housed and clothed them and it was now their turn to do that for their parents.
  4. Finally, the ownership of their horses meant that they'd have to obey the useless unsolicited advice they'd be bombarded with.
As an example of said useless advice, let us assume that for some reason that Meredith had somehow or other expressed an interest in playing girl's ice hockey. Given what we know about the Pattersons, we can break down the near-uniform negativity into a spectrum of failure:
  • Elly would be horrified at the prospect that Meredith would be thus exposed to risk; people would blame her for it, you see.
  • Deanna would object as it would be too much like imposing structure on her daughter's life; since her own mother made her do things and might suggest that Meredith do something that isn't sit quietly and stare into space, she'd be against it.
  • Mike would be aghast because it would mean he'd have to come in contact with the awful little half-people who want to tear him away from ticka-tacka-tapping away on his laptop.
  • Liz would be enraged because she never got to play organized sports as a kid and would be damned if another Patterson got to.
  • John would shuffle, giggle and bloviate about how, while he isn't a chauvinist, she should do something feminine.
About the only person who would probably not see a problem with it is the Martian princess who is always 'wrong'; since Lynn doesn't know how regular people react, she'd be horrified by letters that praise her for supporting the amateur sports she was trying to proscribe. That's because the moral she would have wanted to impart was "Women must always be frustrated because while men are always supposed to get first pick over everything, it's still not 'fair'."
Tags: the shape of foobs to come
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