dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

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Ogres are us: Those nasty Kelpfroths

One of the most galling pair of characters to be pulled out of Crazypants Lynn's rectum are Mikerobe and DeeBreeder's downstairs neighbors, the Kelpfroths. The irritating thing about them is not their improbable and unfunny funny last name or their old-fashioned and 'silly' first names Melville and Winnie, a result of WASP dingbat LJ and her inability to contrive a convincing sounding ethnic name. That is only a minor sin, based on misreading back issues of Mad magazine, wherein people are advised to come up with totally improbable names for imaginary characters for authenticity's sake'.(The crazier the name, the more believable) I have no beef with goofy names. When Jim Shooter was coming up with equally strange names for the Legion of SuperHeroes, he was just trying to come with something alien-sounding for Johnny mayo-on-white-bread Fanboy, not deliberately making the names out to be goofy. As for all the wackiness from Japan, you can blame that on unfamiliarity with the foreign and an education system that preaches learning by rote. What gets my guts churning is their portrayal as all that is sick, wrong and unFooby 'cause they DON'T HAVE CHILDREN and, worse yet, AREN'T PARTICULARLY FOND OF THEM. If you've seen enough of this sewage, you know the downstairs people are somewhere in their late fifties or early sixties in age, and in Lynn's version of the true, good and beautiful should at least have one or two children and fussing over their grandkids, like 'normal' people. THAT is the thing that most bugs me about them being used as cardboard trolls. Lynn forgets how easy it used to be to have children because she is haunted by the delusion that safe, cheap and effective methods of birth control can somehow be uninvented. I put it to you that Mel and Winnie at one point shared the hope of having children only to have an unkind fate destroy any such hope. They, doubtlessly, endured the scorn of family and (former) friends for not being able to successfully reproduce, since in the cruel days Lynn wants to return, barrenness was seen as a moral judgment. This sort of mental agony and heartache deforms the soul as time wears on, so in order to stay sane they hardened their hearts against children. That sort of fact don't mesh with Lynn's storehouse of factiness, though, so they deserve to be disfigured in a fire, lest they convince DeeDoormat that a childless life might be desirable and not lead to heartache, after all. A double result for Lynn, 'cause her Ozzie-and-Harriet-on-Meth worldview is 'confirmed' and OTHER PEOPLE are mocked. Jesus God, she probably watched 'Seinfeld' without not noticing the gang doing anything wrong.
Tags: big dirty world
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