dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

Crankshaft Agonistes.

The problem I have with Funky is, as I said yesterday, that he's standing around whining about how other people have stabbed him in the back; instead of admitting that his insanely bad business model, his witless overreaching, his overweening need to prove himself to the woman he divorced and his incomprehensible need to expose himself to risk because he wanted to be in charge are what destroyed the franchise, he blames the Government and banking system for his own folly. He is thus set to become a grousing idiot like Ed Crankshaft. There's only one major difference between the two sour old dolts; unlike Funky, Cranky is what they call a 'jerkass woobie'. The old fossil is a selfish, mean-spirited, stubborn, destructive wreck of a man but it isn't his fault. As I said earlier, Bull's racist wad of a grandfather was the guy who torpedoed Ed's one chance of making it to the majors; this forced Cranky to seek work doing something that he'd always wanted to avoid: driving school buses. Not only that, his son died in infancy, his wife died of cancer and he couldn't keep up the mortgage payments on his house on his salary; for a proud man like him to have to become his daughter's houseguest was something of a humiliation. Being outed as illiterate was simply icing on the misery cake. The sad thing is that Batiuk has shown us that it's only going to get worse; the Bugs Bunny Lite malapropisms that were symptomatic of an interrupted education are starting to mix with the word salad symptomatic of dementia. What's more, we know that in the immediate future, he's going to be a nearly-comatose wreck stuck in a wheelchair living at the home. As I said, Cranky may be a hateful old douche but he's still got lots to be pissed off about.
Tags: cranky
Subscribe

  • On Elly and eyeglasses....

    Of course, John's being an infant makes him slightly better company than the idiot he married. If Lynn had bothered lining the reprints up better,…

  • Why Liz doesn't come to Elly: Official.

    Of course, there's a reason that isn't Elizabeth telling herself "Mom will leap down my throat if I say something she doesn't like", "You can never…

  • How deep is her guano?: Elly versus Liz

    As I've mentioned before, Liz spent an appallingly long time as Daddy's Little Girl only to be banished to the Land Of Wind, Ghosts And Middle…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 5 comments