dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

Cranky's Bad Neighbor Policy.....

As I mentioned earlier, Crankshaft isn't just a problem for his family to contend with; his destructive presence also presents a nuisance to the people in his neighboorhood. Not only do they have to endure his withering hostility, foul temper and malapropisms, they live in fear of Independence Day because the old coot unfailingly pours far too much lighter fluid on his barbecue and causes an annual tradition: a horrifying fire that menaces life and limb, makes getting homeowner's insurance difficult and causes property values to plummet. The interesting thing is that he seems to have a favorite set of victims: the Mackenzie sisters. Their backstory is an early example of Batiuk's love of pointless misery. It seems that Lucy (the younger of the two) had a steady boyfriend named Eugene; this displeased the Hell out of dateless older sister Lillian enough that she hid a letter from the man in which he said that if Lucy did not meet him at such a place and time, he wouldn't trouble her any more. The day came and went, he broke it off and Lucy did something rash; I forget what that was but since Lillian more or less had to care for her like an infant, I assume that Lucy wound up getting a lobotomy. We only found this out, of course, when Lucy was dying of Alzheimer's; in an attempt to prove how much the world sucks, Batiuk showed us that Eugene will die never knowing what happened. This makes me fear for the Lamberts; they've hit a bit of a bad patch because his investment firm had to clear away the deadwood because of the last recession so it's probably only going to get worse for them.
Tags: amazonian catfish tinfoil hat, cranky
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