dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Keep the homebodies yearning.

As bad an experience as John and Elly had out in the woods, it’s got to be remembered that Mike and Lizzie also really didn’t enjoy themselves. As I said, their idiot parents didn’t think to check out a pamphlet about the area despite there being plenty of opportunities for them to do so; this meant that instead of seeing what there is to see of Sioux Lookout, all Mike and Lizzie saw was the inside of the car, Not-actually-Ted’s cabin and the roadway up and back. Also, they spent a lot of time dealing with blackflies. This, strange as it might seem to John and Elly, is not going to inspire a love of the wild spaces in their children. What it’s going to do is teach them that the countryside has nothing to offer them and should be avoided. Their trip to the farm had a similar effect; what they learned there is that small towns are stocked with clannish, brutish and malevolent bumpkins who were put on this earth to subject suburbanites to derisive hooting because they aren’t familiar with the rigors of farm life. Years of being taught that small towns and the North were not fit places for Pattersons have had a felicitous effect that John and Elly never expected but would probably have welcomed: simply put, this sort of crap teaches Liz that the unfamiliar and new is threatening, strange and unwelcoming. This means that when Mike told her that there was a bogeyman in the outhouse, he set her on the road to the Settlepocalypse. The evils of the wild spaces and the countryside, of course, are not the only things that Pattersons must fear; as I'll demonstrate, the cities are also filled with horrors too bleak to contemplate.

Tags: one big oblivious family

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