dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Honesty and who it's owed to.

The Pattersons' not wanting to tell Ted the truth, a refusal I think to stem from their fear that he will either explode in rage or whine piteously about ingratitude, is a symptom of a larger problem. The same people who can be counted on to make witlessly insulting remarks when it would be better to shut up tend to become mute when they should speak out about an issue. The bizarre thing is that they, as I said, honestly seem to believe that being honest with one another is an exercise in futility; as by way of example, we have John's baffled reaction to Elly's explaining to him that she feels bad when he makes his not-so-funny jokes about her cooking, appearance, level of intelligence. We know that he's a clumsy, stubborn, slow-witted but essentially well-meaning dipstick who takes years to figure out what's going on around him which is why he tends to impress on April the need to obey her whims and why he helped her buy a store; Elly probably still thinks of him as a friend with a hearing problem. The end result, of course, is that their candor-can-only-end-in-either-frustration-or-a-meltdown philosophy makes them look like phonies. They've gotten so good at concealing unpleasant facts, in fact, that they even lie to themselves. Take, for instance, Liz; if she were at all honest about her motives, she'd have told Paul that she was simply marking time until Anthony's starter marriage collapsed and she could settle down with him like she always sort of wanted to. It would have been an unpleasant way to break things off but a damned sight better than the way she did end things. It would also have been better for Mike to actually confront Rhetta and his rival and tell them that he felt slighted because he wound up being the dumpee and if he and Deanna had told Mira that if she didn't approve of their friends, their eloping to avoid a big, ugly, showy circus of a wedding or the way they lived their lives, they weren't going to be too choked up if she cut them out of her life. I don't care how little they feel about the people they presume to hate; what I do care is that they owe those people their honesty, not a silence that cloaks hostility and contempt. Sadly, their need to not feel bad about their stupid decisions tends to hide this from them; it's the price they have to pay for not having to contend with with the nasty, hateful voice in their heads that tells them how incompetent, stupid and selfish they are.
Tags: one big oblivious family

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