dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

The Telling-Off of the Pattersons, Part Six: Anthony.

As Mira continues on explaining exactly why it is that the Pattersons bother her, Liz looks as if she wants to run very far away from her ugly brother's 'rude' mother-in-law; let's continue on and see why that is:

"Well, Mrs Caine, the reason I do know that the pilot and police constable you dated feel grateful to see your fat hind end is that I, unlike you, don't walk around in a stupor. Then again, I'm not the daughter of a simpleton who avoided the woman providing the grease-laden catering because of her idiotic misapprehension that Mrs Nichols is capable of forgiveness. My GOD!! The woman is still ranting because her husband gave their eldest a cookie 25 years ago or so. That, of course, isn't the stupidest thing that you clowns believe; only a corn-fed rube who can't tell his jacksie from a hole in the ground would look at the skeevy little drone you're marrying and call him funny, witty, charming and above all, sympathetic."

Having mentioned Anthony, let's see her rip him a new one:

"I thought that'd get your intention, you repulsive moral pygmy. You, sir, are not my idea of what belongs in a house; what you are is a carbon copy of the rigid, humorless, dismally dull-witted, unimaginative, misogynistic, self-absorbed, entitled and immature dunderhead called "Father of the Bride". I still remember hearing about you whining that you didn't have a home to wreck; what you, of course, meant was that you didn't have to sort of home Deanna envies: one in which the wife is an inert, grinning little doll-woman that doesn’t have an opinion of her own (or an IQ higher than room temperature) and who signs off on every stupid decision her idiot husband makes. What really hurts to think about is how everyone curses Therese for being an obstacle to this ugliness and, worse still, invoking the presence of the Big Picky-Face In The Sky who's a big meanie that tells them that they can't have what they want when they want it. As for your 'rescuing' her from the jerk who assaulted her, it was not especially brave or intelligent of you to take Liz to a park and browbeat her into waiting for you to destroy you marriage instead of waiting for the police to arrest the guy. Another thing that isn't especially all that nice is that you sniveling infants presume to look down on Therese for ‘daring’ to complain about something instead of suffering in silence so that you don’t have to face the ‘unfair’ horror of having to consider needs that are not their own. I will commend you on your choice of idiot trophy wife, though; since she's stupid and vain enough to not question how she's the only thing worth your time despite having a wife and child at home, you won't have to worry about losing any more arguments."
Tags: blandthony, evil mira, foob is chick lit, milbo althist
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