dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Anthony Caine: Unintentional Man Of Mystery....

As I mentioned quite a while back, Anthony Caine is both the most compelling character Lynn has created and, for some reason, regarded as something of a blank slate by his creator. Why it is that she thinks that Anthony is unknown when he's pretty much flood-lit is, as I said back then, a mystery in and of itself. To recap, we know the following about him:

  1. He doesn't seem to love Liz-the-person all that much; what he seems to love is the idea of being in love with her. In that, he is, as Lynn would say, marrying his own kind. Liz seems to be more in love with being in love than she ever was with the people she was dating.
  2. He's too stupid to do the honorable thing; a normal man who had realized that he, despite being engaged, still had feelings for another woman would have called off the engagement. Anthony spent all of his engagement and most of his marriage pining for Liz.
  3. He doesn't know a good thing when he's got it; it seems to me that if you wanted to amount to anything in the world, you'd not shackle yourself to a doughy, dough-headed, day-dreaming, passive drunkard like he did. You'd marry Thérèse, you'd follow her advice and you'd like it.
  4. He's pretty much got the same entitlement issues as the Pattersons; not only does he secretly envy Gordon's success, he's still mad at his father because Daddy Caine told him that if he wanted a car, he'd have to pay for it.
  5. In a town of deeply conservative people who tend to regard family as the greatest measure of success for a woman, he's known for being the most rigid of all. The concept of post-partum depression so sickened and angered him, he could no longer look Thér%egrave;se in the face.
  6. He's a passive-aggressive manipulator who not only destroyed his marriage, he got a bunch of dimwitted suckers to side with him.
  7. He clearly thinks that he's as pure as the driven snow; you and I might compare him to slush or toxic ooze but he and his co-cannibals think he's a great guy.
  8. Since he's smug, stupid and deceitful, we can't rely on a thing he says.

The only good thing that can be said about him is that his need to please the Pattersons is strong enough to survive Liz's drinking, having to do everyone's taxes and even having to take Elly in when John died. About the only thing that it's not strong enough to endure is trying to get her to get rid of all the useless crap she hoards.
Tags: blandthony, foob is chick lit

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