dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Self-loathing leads to hurled crockery.

As we know, Elly tends not to take criticism any better than she does being told that the things that bother her shouldn't. This means that John has to dodge heavy objects when he tells her to step off as well as having to do so when explaining that she's making a mountain out of a molehill. The reason, of course, is that deep down, Elly is afraid that she's an ignorant idiot who's wasting her life panicking over nothing. Only her living in a self-induced fog of denial and martyrdom keeps her from constantly reminding herself of her lack of faith in herself. Given that her personality stayed that of the horrible little bully she was as a child, she also has a child's idea of what the consequences of exposure might be and, since she's a toxic narcissist, judges everyone in sight by her own low standards. This means that she can never share her fear that she doesn't actually know what she's doing with anyone or, for that matter, have a real heart-to-heart with her children. It's either lectures or the sort of round-about stupidity that had her sneak a bowdlerized sex-ed book to the Martian lest she be revealed as a dunderhead and be laughed at by everyone, everywhere forever. It's also why she gets so enraged when people tell her to calm the Hell down when she's in a panic or screaming at the top of her lungs at something that no one else cares about; she thinks that the public is just going to line up on her lawn and laugh at her and call her names to her face forever and always. This is because she doesn't know how adults behave any more than she does children; she'll never know that the same people that smile and laugh at her jokes probably turn around, roll their eyes and wonder what's eating that know-it-all Patterson woman this time before discussing things that matter to them. At least those people are spared the worst of it; after all, she'd never dare throw something heavy at her 'tormentors' in public.
Tags: elly: lynn's fantasy self

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