dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,

Another viewpoint on the non-confrontation problem

It occurs to me that there's another reason that Elly and the others shy away from confronting people with whom they have a problem; originally, I'd merely assumed that they have the exaggerated fear of being yelled at but the sequence in which Elly explains to Anne why it was that she shunned her for so many years when she needed a friend is somewhat telling. As we know, Elly assumed that Anne once again let herself get talked into swallowing her pride when in fact she'd turned herself into a scab foreman who wanted to make sure that Steve was punished for his need for freedom by not having any. What bothered her most about all this was not that Annie was being a bit of a jerk but that her preconceived notion was so much cobblers. What this tells me is that Elly has a preconceived notion in her head that anyone she might have to confront is going to fight her tooth and nail and doesn't want it disproven; in her and the other Pattersons' warped minds, an apologetic admission by another party that he or she needs to give way is as bad as his or her defiance. By disproving something Elly believes and thus humiliating her, he or she has oppressed Elly by making her look foolish. It is sort of sad that Elly would rather be afraid than wrong but that's the deal with her; she's never happy unless she's needlessly miserable.
Tags: one big oblivious family

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