dreadedcandiru2 (dreadedcandiru2) wrote,
dreadedcandiru2
dreadedcandiru2

On unrealized pity.

The reason I recapitulated Elly's pathetic striving with the big, scary adult world is that her perception of how she's perceived is somewhat overblown. An example of this is, well, when the head librarian for the Tri-Suburb Area forced the Milborough Free Public Library to deselect the lowest-level assistant they had on staff after the latest budget cut so that services themselves would not be slashed; the idea was that a student volunteer could run Elly's programs as well as she did at a fraction of the cost. Elly regarded her being fired (she called it 'being singled out') as yet another horrible tragedy inflicted by an uncaring government on the arts community which had to be starved of money so that unimportant things like sports or road maintenance would be funded. Her former employers indulged this to an extent but their real viewpoint was "Gee, that's a shame; I know that she thinks that she's more important than she really is but, well, this is all she's got going for her. It's either being a glorified temp or wearing a hairnet and working at Timmies. Ah, well; at least library service itself isn't affected." This is because Elly has no real idea how pathetic she looks to those around her. She went from being a reliable idiot clerk to a mentally-absent boss that Moira had to work around to get things done and never really realized that she was regarded as something of a pitiable fool. Whenever she discovered that someone out there thought of her as being an idiot making a big deal over nothing, she discounted said perception as his being an evil mama's boy chauvinist pig who'd have made Connie's life a nightmare; that's because she doesn't want to listen to that other evil, unfair voice who tells her that she's got things pretty good so she should cut the monkey business already: her conscience. Were she to listen to that big meanie, she might have to start thinking dangerous things like how she doesn't know what she's doing half the time or how she's not fooling anyone.
Tags: elly versus the real world
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