Speaking of people who hate the idea of her freedom, John clearly seems to have never realized that Elly never sits down when there's a chore to feel guilty about; he looks at the house, estimates that it'd take him 30 or 40 minutes work each day to keep tidy and assumes that Elly has loads of free time. He also doesn't seem to have grasped that his children aren't plotting his overthrow when they ask questions he doesn't feel like asking. Hell, he doesn't even know how insecure his kids are.
The first bundle of insecurity is Mike; despite his belief that John and Elly are rock colossi of unshakable authority, they spent most of their time as parents in a state of panic. The idea that they feared him is something that he'd discount out of hand. He also clearly doesn't seem to realize that it isn't Lizzie's fault that she's not the kid brother he wanted or that her feelings actually matter.
The same inability to realize that her parents aren't subjecting her to their rules because they know everything applies to Liz; she also doesn't seem to realize that Mike isn't purely motivated by malice. She doesn't know that he fears being tossed out into a dumpster with everything else that's obsolete.
What's more, none of them know who Deanna and Anthony are; the idea that Dee is suffering from Munchausen's by proxy or that Anthony is a shallow, heartless, lazy manipulator is something none of them can see.
About the only person around who sees them as being the people they really are is the one they have the least time for: April. This is because she fell under Jim's spell and keeps hitting them with a personal responsibility trip.